Come check me out at BLOGGING IN BLACK [LINK] today for some quickie editing tips. Here’s one below:
Just a THOUGHT
Characters often “think”.
I don’t want to see him tonight, Marcia thought to herself.
I hate thinking about this, Robert thought to himself. It always ends the same way.
See a problem with the two examples above? Check out the words “to herself” and “to himself”.
When people have thoughts, no one knows about the thoughts until the people express them in dialogue. “to herself” and “to himself” are redundant; we know Marcia is thinking inwardly – to herself just as we know Robert is thinking inwardly – to himself. End with THOUGHT.